What are your parenting goals for 2024? New year New parenting 5 Attainable Goals for a Fulfilling Journey
Parenting goals are what you want to accomplish in your parenting journey. They keep you on track and focus on the important things that will bring you closer to them. Picking the right goals can be life-changing. There are long-term and short-term parenting goals. They can be readily apparent or hidden. Having goals can be tricky because we may think we have one goal in mind, but our actions follow another that is out of sight. When hassles are the focus on a daily basis, it is easy to lose sight of the longer-term goals. Parents overwhelmed with day-to-day responsibilities often prioritize short-term goals over long-term ones. Choosing the right goals is important because short-term objectives can impede long-term parenting goals if they do not align with each other.
Here are some types of parenting goals that you can consider:
- Hidden Goals: These are goals that are not readily apparent. They are often subconscious and can hinder the achievement of long-term goals. For example, a parent may set “no yelling” as their goal of parenting. Even though they try to adhere to it, after a few days, many of them break down and yell at their kids because the children don’t listen. When not-yelling doesn’t seem to work, some parents resolve that shouting is the only way to get their rowdy kids to listen. And now they’re back to square one in goal setting. So what went wrong? These parents knew what they wanted, — they wanted to stop yelling because they wanted to have better relationships with their kids in the long run. No yelling as a goal in parenting doesn’t work because it isn’t the true objective in daily life. The hidden goal that parents are not consciously aware of is wanting their kids to be obedient. Getting their children to comply with the parents’ wishes is the hidden, but more important, goal here. This goal, if met, may bring relief to the parents temporarily, but it hinders the long-term goal of developing good relationships. Most parents want to have close relationships with their children and enjoy spending time together. But this desire is often forgotten when they put their relationships on the back burner to pursue compliance. When daily interactions are filled with orders, commands, nagging, and punishment, parent-child relationships deteriorate. Kids don’t listen to people they don’t feel connected with. Then the parents get more upset and yell, even more, further damaging the relationships. It becomes a downward spiral. Hidden short-term parenting goals like this can keep us from seeing the big picture and sticking to our long-term goals.
- Short-term Goals: These are goals that can be achieved in a short period of time, usually within a few weeks or months. They are often specific and measurable. Examples of short-term parenting goals include reading to your child every night, spending quality time with your child, or teaching your child a new skill.
- Long-term Goals: These are goals that take a longer time to achieve, usually several years. They are often more general and less specific than short-term goals. Examples of long-term parenting goals include raising a happy and healthy child, instilling good values in your child, or helping your child become a responsible adult.
Studies highlight three primary types of parenting goals: parent-centered, child-centered, and relation-centered. Parent-centered objectives revolve around control and obedience, often resulting in authoritarian behaviors. On the contrary, child-centered and relation-centered goals prioritize teaching values and fostering close relationships, leading to more authoritative parenting styles, which generally yield better outcomes.
Setting these goals is crucial in aligning daily actions with long-term objectives. While most parents aspire to raise well-rounded, successful children, often, immediate desires like obedience take precedence. It’s essential to recognize that short-term goals centered on control might hinder the accomplishment of broader, relationship-oriented aims.
To achieve these goals successfully, prioritizing relationship-building is key. A strong parent-child bond facilitates mutual respect and cooperation, laying the groundwork for accomplishing other objectives. Ultimately, a healthy relationship supersedes immediate tasks like homework or chores.
To achieve your parenting goals, it is important to set them in a way that is realistic and achievable. Here are some tips to help you set and achieve your parenting goals:
- Start small: Break down your goals into smaller steps that are easier to achieve. This will help you stay motivated and make progress towards your goals.
- Track your progress: Keep track of your progress towards your goals. This will help you stay on track and make adjustments if necessary.
- Be flexible: Be open to changing your goals if they are not working for you. Parenting is a dynamic process, and what works for one child may not work for another.
- Involve your child: Consider setting goals with your child. This will help them stay motivated and learn important life skills.
- Celebrate your successes: Celebrate your successes along the way. This will help you stay motivated and make progress towards your goals.